Can product placement be a good thing? Ninety-nine percent of the time, the answer is an irrefutable no. But in that one unlikely percent, a developer and publisher teamed with one of the world’s leading manufacturers of farm equipment to create a game that could rival all other farm simulators.

John Deere Harvest in the Heartland is product placement squared. The game tells players how they can “speed up [their] daily activities” and “turn a profit faster” by using John Deere equipment. High reputation bonuses are awarded to players who purchase John Deere equipment. And – big surprise – the game isn’t as fun without it.

While this gives way for ridicule, it has to be said that the developers did not slack off in their gameplay-creating duties. Harvest in the Heartland has its share of bugs and tedious tasks, but the crop raising and selling mechanics are nearly as addictive as those featured in Harvest Moon.

 
Hey farmer. Luigi called and said he wants his clothes back.

$100 for a Potato!?

If it were possible to make 100 clams for every potato sold, everyone would want to be a farmer. In Harvest in the Heartland, $100 (minimum) is what you’ll get – and even more for carrots and other season-specific vegetables. But you don’t have to grow a veggie during a particular time of the year to reap their benefits. Your farm can function pretty normally during the colder months, which is unrealistic but not unnecessary. Seasons last for 18 days, giving players very little time to grow county fair-worthy tomatoes.

Just as farming has a repetitive process in the real world, you’ll go through the same group of motions several hundred times in this game. The first step is to buy a grain or vegetable field. Fields are broken down to a 6x6 grid, with each area representing one individual crop. Hay and wheat are recommended for any time of the year except winter (even though you can grow wheat when it’s cold). They also grow faster than vegetables, making them the perfect crop to launch your farm.

Fields are purchased from the commodities market, which is just a few steps away from your farm. Once a field has been acquired, players are automatically transported back home to find a place where it will reside. Any vacant area works so long as it’s not too close to a building, rock, weed, or tree. The latter three items can be removed with a hammer (pound rocks), gloves (pull out weeds), and an axe (cut down and remove trees), all of which may also be purchased at the commodities market.

 
These guys are such pigs.

Within no time you’ll have your field and be ready to till the soil. Grab the hoe and draw a line from two spaces in front of your character. After getting bored and screaming, “This sucks,” forget about the touch screen nonsense and stick to the D-pad and face buttons. You can perform the same actions by pressing the A button.

Tilled soil needs seeds, and with a bottomless bag of seeds resting in your inventory, you won’t ever run out. You may, however, run out of cash. Every seed costs money ($15 minimum). This requires a bit of financial management, as you’ll need to think twice before buying a new irrigation system. It may be convenient and prevent you from having to water an entire 6x6 area daily. But it also cuts into your seed money, which is the only way your farm can profit without livestock.

Considering that you won’t be able to afford an irrigation system for the first 30 – 60 minutes of play, expect to water a lot of crops by hand. Three spaces can be watered simultaneously with the watering can. That’s much faster than planting seeds but will still take a long time. Crops must be watered every day or they won’t grow. Lucky for you, the game begins in the spring, AKA the rainy season of the year. Rainy days require no watering. You’ll still have to perform the other daily tasks though, including bug and fungus removal, which are eliminated by using pesticides and fungicides. When a crop is finally ready to be picked, grab your gloves (to pick vegetables) or a scythe (for corn, wheat, or hay) and get moving.

Of these activities, two are boring when performed by hand (planting seeds and watering crops), and all are entertaining when using modern-day equipment. The former is the worst. Without a tractor, it takes a very long time to plant seeds. That was the game’s purpose – to bore you into avoiding Amish farm life. The only solution is to purchase a John Deere tractor with seed-planter and crop-picker attachments. Two tractors are available, one for two rows of farming and one for three. The two-row is all you can afford at first, and it retails for $7,500. It won’t be easy to save for that, especially when you need the attachments ($3,000 for a planter and $5,500 for a harvester). The larger tractor sells for $10,000, and its attachments range from $1,500 for a pesticide/fungicide sprayer to $10,000 for a three-row harvester.

After getting that taken care of, your next goal will be to place an irrigation system in every field. What’s surprising is that, despite the annoyance of having to repeat some actions that are less than desirable, the game’s addiction level never dropped. Harvest in the Heartland is strictly an acquired taste. But if you’re like me and have a taste bud for this uncommon flavor, the game will keep you glued – in spite of the many reasons you’ll have to throw it out the window.

 
Chicken work (feeding, cleaning, and picking eggs) is boring,
but you don’t have to raise livestock if you don’t want to.

A John Deere Letter

Dear John Deere Harvest in the Heartland,

I am writing today with some sad news. You’re probably wondering why we haven’t broken up. That’s not what this is about. I should have dumped you. I want to dump you. When I change tools – a task I do several times per game day – you show no love. All you give in return is a lengthy load screen. You neglect the fact that this is not a disc-based game. It was made for Nintendo DS, a handheld that was, until this year, virtually load-free.

You’ve cheated on me not once but twice, crashing the game. Hours of progression were lost in the storm. I could have saved more often, but every action leads to a load screen, and every load screen is another chance for the game to crash.

Sometimes when I’m with you it’s like you’re not even there. Crops and building dematerialize when I walk away, and they don’t always return when I’m around.

My heart races when we’re in a room together. But your heartbeat slows, killing the game’s frame rate.

Despite these issues we have, I don’t want to end this. Your chores are, in a way I can’t quite explain, very entertaining to me. But we need counseling, because I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I fear I may have to close my DS and leave you…forever.

Sincerely,

A Crazy Farm Guy

 
This mini-game is a “just for fun” additive that doesn’t add much to the game’s flavor.

Like any relationship, John Deere Harvest in the Heartland begs the question: is it more trouble than it’s worth? Those who crave the farm life – and can put up with an absurd amount of loading and technical issues – will reap the benefits of long-lasting entertainment.

Gameplay: 7.1
Harvest in the Heartland’s strong farming mechanics and addictive gameplay are partially overshadowed by the game’s many technical problems.

Graphics: 2.0
The SNES-style graphics wouldn’t be too bad if the engine didn’t suck. But it’s horrible. Slowdown, load times, dematerializing buildings, and the risk of losing everything because the game crashed before you could save are not positive features. Countless games (with better graphics) have come to the DS without any of these issues.

Sound: 7.0
I never knew that Banjo-Kazooie’s music was meant to represent the farm life, but that’s what this game sounds like.

Difficulty: Easy/Medium
Harvest in the Heartland isn’t as unforgiving as the Harvest Moon titles, which wipe out crops during the winter months.

Concept: 6.7
A Harvest Moon clone starring John Deere tractors.

Multiplayer: 1.0
Yeah, like you’re going to know 10 people who have this game (which is required to win the farm visitation award). That isn’t going to happen unless you belong to a Harvest in the Heartland fan club. And if you do, the only reward is getting to walk around another player’s farm. Excuse me while I pass out from boredom.

Overall: 6.9
Only a select few will be hooked for more than a few seasons. John Deere Harvest in the Heartland is extremely addictive but also extremely frustrating – not because the game is challenging or cheap, but because of the inexcusable issues that prevent it from reaching its full potential.